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My Dog Died
#1
Rorschach Dvorak Remmel, my dog of almost 14 years, died today. He was a black & white schnoodle I got from a pet store in 2008 before I learned the horrors of pet stores. Nevertheless, he was too smart for his own good and a character. December 3rd of this year would have been his 14th birthday.

Three days ago, I would never have guessed I'd be writing this today. He had gotten a little less active two days ago and I noticed he was breathing a bit like he was in pain. This has happened before because he loved to eat anything and usually he just needed a good vomit or poop and he was back to normal. That didn't happen this time. He ate his regular treats two days ago before and after work but wasn't eating much else.

Yesterday I had to place him outside to go to the bathroom and he almost didn't eat his treats. When he refused any further food late yesterday I called emergency services. Backlogged for hours, so I decided to wait until morning and try regular hours. I woke up and he had somehow moved off my bed and was no longer able to walk, breathing heavily. Called emergency again and they suggested I try my primary vet, who is from my hometown an hour and a half away.

He died about halfway there, in my arms. When his breathing began to slow I pulled over and held him until it was all over. He's survived by my schnauzer Gerti and preceded by my first schnauzer and quite possible half-brother Sigmund.

I feel really, really terrible because I think maybe I could have found a place to take him in sooner, and even more because I just never felt quite the same bond with him as I feel/felt with my two schnauzers. I have cried and wailed and been happy that at the very least he was with me, but I feel like maybe someone else would have been even better to him. Maybe he would have been better off had I never asked him "whatchu doin'?!" at the pet store and he rushed at me.

Furthermore, I was so, so positive he would outlive Gerti, my other dog. She's a few months younger but a purebred with a cataract and some hearing loss. Rory was in command of all his faculties until the very end and half schnauzer, half poodle, so defects are far less likely.

Whatever you all want to say or don't say is fine. What would comfort me is reassurance that it was probably his time. I'm sure there were tweaks that could have given him some more months or a year but he was, after all, nearly 14.

Thanks for anything you guys can say.

Rorschach Dvorak Remmel
03.12.2007-18.10.2021
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#2
Oh, I’m very sorry.

By coincidence our dog’s birthday is also Dec 3. He’s a miniature poodle, and (cross fingers) he will be 19 soon. Being very old, we’ve been all too aware and sad at times that he may leave us soon. Terribly sorry for you.
[+] 1 user Likes jdcyl's post
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#3
The real irony is that it's also Ozzy Osbourne, my favorite musician's, birthday. Didn't know that for years into having Rory.

Poodles are a fun handful. A lot of acquaintances have them and they are a robust breed. I hope you have many happy returns with yours.
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#4
So so sorry Heinrich.  Years ago I lost my dog of 14 years (German shepherd) and have lost numerous cats since.  With each one I too wondered if I could have done more.  The answer is NO.  We did our best which came from the heart which was THE best.  The pain that you feel is in proportion to the amount of love that you two shared.  Be happy for all that he gave you.  Both of you were lucky.  He passed on a happy and lucky dog.
Upset Hugs
[+] 1 user Likes Parsifal's post
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#5
Thanks, Parsi. Smile

Now that I've had time to decompress, any other way of dying: At the vet, dear god if I were at work, etc. would have been worse. I think it was his time and I was with him to the very end. And he knew it.
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#6
(18-10-2021, 07:47 PM)Heinrich Wrote: I was with him to the very end. And he knew it.

Approve

One of my cats died in my arms at age 20 and I still treasure the memory.
[+] 1 user Likes Parsifal's post
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#7
I'm really sorry to hear of your loss, I lost my boy Jaff on May 19th and I am still suffering to this day. People who have never owned and loved a dog, or any other animal for that matter, would not understand what we go through with our pets when they are sick and sadly leave us.last time I lost a dog it took me only three weeks to find Jaff and I was happy for the next nine years when I lost him because of cancer,this time I cannot just go out and get another dog,it's killing me inside in that everything thing I do I think about my boy.They say that time heals but it is taking a long time this time round,so I greatly sympathise with you in having lost your best friend (probably).I am not afraid to say that I am in tears writing this as I know what you are going through.Just try and remember all the good times you had with your boy,that's what I try and do.Des
[+] 1 user Likes mugsy's post
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#8
Des, time alone doesn't heal.  I still miss my dog whom I lost years ago.  Bring another one into your life.  The love that the new pooch will bring you will heal much of the pain.  I see so many seniors walking their dogs in the park.  They are great companions for those in their later years.

I think a LOT about getting a dog again.  But city dogs have to be walked.  Don't know if I can manage that with my schedule these days.  I go for frequent walks in Riverside Park (New York City) and see all the dog walkers.  There's a pull.  When I had my dog back then I walked her in the park three times a day (morning, after work, late night before bed).
[+] 1 user Likes Parsifal's post
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#9
So sorry to hear this.

As you say, it does seem that it was his time. It must have been very hard at the time, but really, it was for the best that you could be there with him.

Much sympathy!
[+] 1 user Likes pinkpunk's post
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#10
Thank you. Today has already been much better. I had a little session with my therapist and the only thing I need to do is not run from any waves of grief that may arise. I can do that.
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#11
I had a good sob when my dog died. Upset
[+] 1 user Likes Parsifal's post
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#12
I cried into Sigmund's fur for a half hour after he died (he was put to sleep after a long illness). I don't remember any further waves after that. But that was after an illness. Rory went so fast and I keep flashing memories and I cry again. Right after I dropped off his body to be cremated, I went to my mom's to wash up and wailed. Actually wailed. I didn't do that for my father.
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#13
I'm very sorry for your loss. Dogs are family
minimalist sig
[+] 1 user Likes Tiuri's post
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#14
So sorry to hear this, Heinrich.

I've been around dogs most of my life and it never gets any easier to lose one. You have nothing to feel guilty about (although that won't stop it happening) and nothing to reproach yourself for (but you will). I think it's because animals rely on us so much for all their needs that it's human nature to look for something we could have done better.

Rory was lucky to have you to love and care for him, and it sounds like you did a great job.  Hugs
[+] 1 user Likes Ollie2UK's post
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#15
I'm doing a lot better with each day. I've accepted that I probably gave him a great life and I did love the little bastard dearly.

Hey, thank you to everyone who's replied so far, too. It absolutely helps me a lot.
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#16
There's no "probably" about it. Pets, even cats, know you love them and they love you, period.
[+] 1 user Likes Jwb52z's post
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#17
Just adding my sympathies to those already on here, Heinrich. I lost my Jack Russell after 17 years a few years back, and although I have another cute pooch now, I still miss him terribly. The pain isn't as bad, but I'm not ashamed to say I still well up when I see a picture of him x
[+] 2 users Like Dataday214's post
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#18
We haven't exactly seen eye to eye Heinrich but I am so very sorry for your loss.  I have a 12 year old terrier mix and she is my world.  Please don't think for one second that you didn't give your beloved pet the love and care he needed even if you didn't have the same bond as with your other dogs.  I've no doubt that you were his world and your anguish at his loss just proves how much you loved him.  At fourteen years of age it seems very likely that it was his time and you weren't forced to make that dreadful decision at the vet's.  Cherish your memories and know that you gave him a loving and happy home, one that he may not have had if he hadn't bounded towards you on that day all those years ago.  He was clearly meant for you.
[+] 2 users Like summerfever's post
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#19
Can we see a picture of him Heinrich?
You gave us one a few years back (might have been on the old site).
Would love to see him again. Big Grin
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#20


summerfever, thanks for your kind words. My love for my dogs transcends my opinions and politics. Your reply helps a lot, too.
[+] 3 users Like Heinrich's post
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