Why do some people feel ashamed to be LGBTQ?

[james2180]

Lots of really good points already made here. I think I can add something I have learned about shame that was critically important for my understanding. There are two aspects to shame; think of it grammatically. There is shame as a verb: they shamed me. And there is the noun: I feel shame. The former is what I refer to as “cast shame” and the latter I did not truly understand until I was challenged on my teaching that “shame is bad.” So one will have some shame that has been cast upon one; that is illegitimate shame, and ideas have been suggested to heal one’s self from it’s damage. What I consider legitimate shame is the shame I feel for having broken my own code of ethics. That is, to me, legitimate. I have learned to accept my legitimate shame and to even embrace it. It is an integral part of who I have become, and without it I would not be me. I wish I had not done the things which cause me to feel that legitimate shame, but I have done what I can do to expiate that. Somehow, that embracing of the shame I “own” seems to have almost eliminated the cast shame. I had not realized that until I wrote this sentence. It, perhaps, took up it’s rightful place as illegitimate when I began to accept and embrace the legitimate.

I can think of no more perfect example of cast, illegitimate shame than that one would feel in any way diminished for feeling love and attraction to another. Clearly this is something about which to feel pride and joy. To anyone who has been victimized by having someone’s bigoted judgement thrust at them, know that the world is mostly filled with caring people who, given the opportunity, would embrace that loving part of you. So in answer to the question: what is there to be ashamed of? Nothing whatsoever, dearest ones. Surround yourselves with a loving community that will anoint you with healing acceptance. Those others? Fuck ‘em.

[ladsnet]

Have you copy/pasted this from an 18th century romance novel or have you just been hitting the bottle ?

[DarranS52]

I dont know why are we among us fighting about celebs sexual orientation and for me that some celebs are open but not out and about. Like Christain COulsan from Harry Potter. I would say the stigma is still there not as bad but its still there. Its not the norm you know and there is tons of infighting with in our community

[jumbler]

You only have to watch It’s a Sin to understand why some people are ashamed of being gay. And even when they’re happy to be out with mates/people they know, many (used to) have casual sex because they still couldn’t overcome feelings of self-loathing.

But the saddest bit is why some people still feel like that today, when they live in countries which are welcoming and supportive. There’s no need to feel that way any more.

[DarranS52]

You only have to watch It’s a Sin to understand why some people are ashamed of being gay. And even when they’re happy to be out with mates/people they know, many (used to) have casual sex because they still couldn’t overcome feelings of self-loathing.

But the saddest bit is why some people still feel like that today, when they live in countries which are welcoming and supportive. There’s no need to feel that way any more.

my co-worker said he is a terriable homophobe

[jumbler]

Why did he admit to it?? And what motivates him to be like that??

Most homophobia is completely irrational.

[DarranS52]

Why did he admit to it?? And what motivates him to be like that??

Most homophobia is completely irrational.

well it was when his son wanted to go to a all male sleep over