What Horrible Things Did Americans Do To Their Penises Last Year?

[ladsnet]

https://defector.com/what-horrible-thing...ast-year-3

[Tiuri]

Surprisingly, no frostbite

[Parsifal]

Amusing how many guys walk around naked at home. 

LEANED FORWARD SLIGHTLY WHILE LAYING IN BED, ACCIDENTALLY DISCHARGED HIS .45 CALIBER HANDGUN INTO THE BASE OF HIS PENIS

Serves him right for laying in bed with a handgun.

[jdcyl]

I felt just awful for the ones where it’s apparent the patient was a little kid.

[EthanE]

are you implying americans are stupid? 

[Kev]

are you implying americans are stupid? 

There are just more stupid people here since we're such a huge country.

[Bangle1]

Us Brits are in no position to judge. Apparently 347 Brits stuck their penises in Katie Price last year
Shudder.

[ladsnet]

I don't know why.
I imagine it would be akin to dangling it over a wishing well.

[jumbler]

You actually wonder why some of these have any hands, arms and feet left - if they use so much force for everyday stuff…

[Maro]

“CUT THE TIP OF HIS FORESKIN WITH PLASTIC KNIFE TO PLACE PLASTIC BEAD INTO THE OPENING THAT HE MADE IN HIS FORESKIN, CUT TOO DEEP.”
That’s actually a thing?

[jdcyl]

“CUT THE TIP OF HIS FORESKIN WITH PLASTIC KNIFE TO PLACE PLASTIC BEAD INTO THE OPENING THAT HE MADE IN HIS FORESKIN, CUT TOO DEEP.”
That’s actually a thing?

Amongst ‘body modifications’ now done these days, there’s the insertion of surgical stainless steel or plastic shapes under the skin.   They’re either meant to stay in place (forming horn knobs on the forehead, ridges and bumps down the spine, etc.), or move around a little.  Of course such things should be done by someone competent who knows how to prevent infection and injuries, not by some DIY idiot.

[ladsnet]

Won't be an issue this side of the pond soon.
We're banning plastic knives.

[Parsifal]

I read a story once where a guy (American?) played a joke, stuck a flower with its stem up his cock and pranced around naked showing off (to others present).  He didn't know ahead of time that when he pulled the flower out again the "fuzz" on the flower stem lacerated/injured his urethra.  Ouch!   The story made it sound serious like there was possibly no (known) cure for the damage. 

[Gino Yurenni]

Put them in American women?