First Date / Hookup soon - Nervous and advice?

[NDN1984]

I've finally bit the bullet and signed up to a certain pick-up app. I've surprisingly had a fair bit of attention, so the weight-loss and appointing a "daddy" style look (I'm 38 nearly) has worked. There are some nice people on there, and not everyone is a sex addict.

Cut a long story short; I've got a date / hook-up next Saturday week when I'm back home. The guy ticks my boxes both with physical and other attributes. 34, cuddly and just lovely. I'm confident something will come of this. The thing is I'm nervous as fuck. I haven't had sex for eight years nearly and as a top, I want to be good for him. He knows the back story (widower, new territory for me) and said would take it slow.

Any advice guys on how to make this date work? Even if we don't become bf's I'd be happy to settle for him as a friend with benefits.

[jdcyl]

I’m assuming you’re not asking what sort of resto to pick, but rather more on your nervousness about the physical intimacy?

You can get to kissing without having a breakdown? Ask him to join you in the shower. Nervousness tends to evaporate with the pretence that the immediate goal isn’t ‘THE BED AND BEING FANTASTIC’. And it still comes with undressing together, and close physical intimacy, and lathering each other up, and body worship, and... Somehow it does tend to lead to other things.

Of course, he could have no nervousness about hook-ups, and letting him lead you’d find there was no time for nerves at all.

[Luckydog2020]

Have yourselves a wonderful date together, fingers crossed all goes well for you both.

[NDN1984]

I’m assuming you’re not asking what sort of resto to pick, but rather more on your nervousness about the physical intimacy?

You can get to kissing without having a breakdown? Ask him to join you in the shower. Nervousness tends to evaporate with the pretence that the immediate goal isn’t ‘THE BED AND BEING FANTASTIC’. And it still comes with undressing together, and close physical intimacy, and lathering each other up, and body worship, and... Somehow it does tend to lead to other things.

Of course, he could have no nervousness about hook-ups, and letting him lead you’d find there was no time for nerves at all.

It is more the physical intimacy side yes. I think he's pretty confident with it all, but I am nervous. I've sent him pictures of my body which he likes and he is genuine.

I like the sound of that. That'd be a good way to break the ice. I do live alone, and he would come back to mine. Sounds hot as well! Thank you.

Luckydog2020 - thank you. Just seven days to go. I'm eager to get back home on Tue / Weds.

[NDN1984]

Well, I met him last night when I returned home from Bristol. We had sex, spent the night but the guy rinsed me for a train ticket home, £20 and ciggaretes.

He said he would meet again on Saturday...blocked me on WhatsApp. Not even a straight honest no and good luck which would have been more acceptable.

Never using this app again. Too many fakes and the standard down here is non-existent. Got to be a more sensible app out there for those wanting love and friendships.

[ladsnet]

£20's quite reasonable for a shag.

Wouldn't even get you a handjob round here.

[Parsifal]

For £20 and cigarettes was it good sex (for a whole night)?
If it was then you got a good deal.
Now get an STD test (he sounds a bit loose).

[NDN1984]

For £20 and cigarettes was it good sex (for a whole night)?
If it was then you got a good deal.
Now get an STD test (he sounds a bit loose).

It was good sex (we did it three times), and I'm guessing I got the better end of the deal here. I will be heading to the local STI clinic ASAP (Will call them tomorrow) and he also blocked me on Grindr before I deleted my account. I do think he was to be fair. I was gutted earlier, but speaking to a couple of friends they said not to worry about it and I've probably dodged a bullet.

[Parsifal]

As the old joke goes:
What does a lesbian bring to the second date?: Answer: A U-Haul (to move in)
What does a gay man bring to the second date?: Answer: What second date?

[Jwb52z]

I hope someone can come up with a funny line for the rest of the community to add to that joke.

[Parsifal]

I hope someone can come up with a funny line for the rest of the community to add to that joke.

The second line about the gay man is the punch line.  Making the joke PC by adding a third line will take the humor out of it.  Relax and just enjoy the humor (as it pertains to the OP's experience).

[Welsh Cake]

I hope someone can come up with a funny line for the rest of the community to add to that joke.

Here we go…..

[Luckydog2020]

There's no need for comments that don't help the lads current plight.